Stuff I'm Listening To - Splogenessabounds

Artist: Splogenessabounds

Title: Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please

Lyrics:

Oi! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Ay! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I've been here half hour
And I'm getting very thirsty!

 

Why?: Ahh... I bet you're all dreaming about when this will all be over and you can go back to your local crowded pub and continue to be ignored by the bartender who's too busy trying to get the girl down the bar's phone number or the barmaid who's been busy flirting with the drunk old guy at the other end of the bar for extra tips. 

Yes, yes. I know not all bartenders/barmaids are like this. But I've been to my fair share of pubs, clubs and bars. I know good service which is why when my favourite pub did close I pretty much never found another local hang out exactly for the reasons above. 

For the record, I wasn't much of a drinker back in the day. I was usually the designated driver. I didn't like soda/pop/whatever moniker Cola/Ginger Ale has in your part of the world. Our favourite watering hole, Cassidy's, had the best bartenders. One of them suggested hot chocolate. Then the next time, the barmaid added whipped cream. Then the bartender, who had heard about the whipped cream, added peppermint sprinkles. The next bartender decided to up the ante by adding shaved chocolate. I heard rumours that there were plans drawn up by the fourth bartender on how to make sparklers stand upright in the mug to serve it to me with a giant bendy straw to keep me safe. Unfortunately it never made it to the pyrotechnics part.

Have hope. We'll soon be packed in all the great bars/pubs/watering holes soon enough. 

Cheers.