The Gospel According to Mark Hollis

I can't resist

The feeling's so much stronger now

I must make sure

To do the things I want to do

Life's just too short

For answers to your problems
 
~ ‘I Can’t Resist’ - The Reaction

I’ve spent the last (almost) month reading these outpourings of utter grief and despair from Talk Talk fans around the world. I think reading their sadness just made mine worse. It sucks that someone who was a huge part of your life is just gone. Even if there was never any more presence in your life than perhaps songs (for those who've had the opportunity to meet him, I'll tell you I’m envious, but so happy you had that treasured moment for yourself ). He obviously filled some part of your life with something special and meaningful. I’m a newbie fan, so while I can’t claim years, the short time I’ve had this and him in my life has been wonderful. His music is great. I enjoy it immensely and haven’t really stopped listening since.

I was listening to this song on my way to work today. The opening lines kind of slapped me across the face. I’ve been in a kind of numb state for a while (long story short - something happened in December, Talk Talk's music helped me deal with some of it so my life has been interspersed with moments of grooving to Talk Talk’s earlier stuff and general malaise when I read posts from his fans lately. Mark dies and everything that got helped got tossed out the window and I was a mess. Mood swing anyone?). This past weekend was a particularly low point. I was irritable and didn’t know what to do with myself. I knew what was happening and I am not pleased with myself. I know I’m stronger than this. I’m better than this. But I’ve been letting this, for lack of a better description, mid-life crisis, get the better of me. Mark Hollis’ dying served as a catalyst for it. I think it’s fair to say these lyrics felt like it was his statement for me to move on. For everyone else still grieving, please don’t think I’m being dismissive of your feelings. I just found what I needed to move on. I hope you do soon too, which is why I wanted to share this epiphany (See what I did there? 😉) with you.

Life is too short. There may not be any answers. I’m off to do ALL the things now. After all… to pilfer some more lyrics from him… Life is what you make it.

Thanks for reading.